09 July 2008

What Happens When Love Waxes and Wanes?

The phenomenon of Love shall till the end of time remain a mystery, two people crossed each other’s path and decided without outside interference that they will love and cherish each other till the end of time. But due to reasons best known to them, both suddenly upped and decided to go their separate ways, without giving any thought to how it was, how it could be if only they could work things out and how it is going to be out there without their other half.

Most couples after separation never do really find the peace and happiness that they seek. Some have even confessed that they wished they had work things out rather than leaving. Rather interesting, a case of the devil you know is better than an angel you have not seen.

So, what happens when love waxes and wanes?

Renew it!

Start the renewal process before things get out of hand.

How do I know when love begins to wane?

The signs are always there, they never change, though it varies from couple to couple, some of them are ;
  • Avoiding intimacies with each other, especially sexual intimacy. The other person suddenly seems like a different person, he/she no longer appeals to you in anyway.
  • Certain things you previously desire about the person now seem irritating. Everything he/she does make you angry.
  • You can no longer stand the sight of the person, whenever you are in each other’s presence one or both of you easily gets provoked by what the other is saying/doing.
  • Prefer other peoples company to being with each other. Both make great effort to avoid contact.
  • Little things you do for each other now become a burden.
  • You both have secrets that the other does not know.
  • Outsiders have first hand information about recent happenings in your life, when your partner is denied such info.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all.... In fact, the state of being in love usually does not last.... But of course ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love...is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God.... They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

  • Pledge your love continually and for as long as both of you are alive.
  • Shower each other with compliments
  • Spare no efforts to please him/her
  • Do things that tell/show your partner that you love him/her unconditionally, uncritically and sacrificially. Phil 1: 9
  • Be selfless, be thoughtful more so at a time like this.
  • Once in awhile, surprise each other with gifts, things you know your husband or wife will cherish.
  • Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible.
  • Tell your partner how much he/she means to you, and show appreciation at every available opportunity because the ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
  • Lastly, Pray that God rekindle your love.

Read Secrets to keep your marriage brimming from now on

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