Conflict in Marriage.

Marital Conflict is a situation in which husband and wife are involved in serious disagreement or argument. A situation where both of them have contrasting ideas, opinions, feelings, or wishes which may result in violence. As it is common knowledge that no marriage is perfect, it is to be understood that sometimes a husband and wife may find themselves falling apart over certain issues which if not properly managed could turn the home into a battle field.

There are several reasons why conflict could arise between a husband and a wife; some are trivial while some are important. Whichever, it is always good for the parties concern to be honest about their own shortcomings. If both of you know the area in which each is personally lacking, when there is disagreement, one of you will be better able to deal with his/her own feelings whether negative or positive while trying to understand what the other person is about. This will give you a better angle to focus on the reason behind the conflict in order for you to be able to clarify the issue and facilitates quick resolution.

Major causes of Conflicts in Marriage.

Lack of  Submission: wives failure to submit to their husbands as biblically instructed can cause conflict in the home. It is crucial to note that where a woman fails to submit to the husband there is tendency that the relationship will lack peace and harmony. Ephe 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Lack of care and attention: couples are expected to give care and undivided attention to each other. Never neglect each other, make time out to be together.

Third Party Intrusion: conflict could arise when inlaws and other extended family members poke their noses into your family affairs; it is always better to keep your problems to yourself. Learn not to invite external parties into your conflict, because escalating the conflict could expose either of you to criticisms.

Lack of love or failure to love; most people find it relatively difficult to express love to one another, not just saying “I Love YOU” but showing it by doing things that express how much the other partner is loved. Some believe that showing love could put them at a disadvantage or that the other person may take being love for granted. Husband need to express love constantly to their wives because women want love and understanding, but only few men understand it. Ephe 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Secrets or hidden agenda; if both husband and wife have secrets not known to each other, it could cause one or either of them to do things that exclude the other thereby creating gaps in the union. When honesty and openness is lacking, there is bound to be conflict.

Extra marital affair: Both husband and wife should be contented with each, this is important to the growth of any marriage. Having relationships outside marriage can only bring deceit, distrust and will create a dent in the level of intimacy between the partners involved.

Sexual satisfaction; lack of sexual satisfaction could also cause conflict. Even though sex is not the most important factor in marriage, it is important for a healthy marriage. It is God’s intent that sexual intercourse bonds two people together for life in marriage; denial is therefore totally against the rules of marriage. God uses sexual intercourse, full sexual intimacy, to bring two married people together 1 Cor 7:3-5, A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband. It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.

Further Reading: Here and here