24 August 2009

“Leave and Cleave”

Mark 10:7 & 8, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

I love the leaving and cleaving part, it has always appealed to me whenever I need to address a situation in which relatives find it difficult to understand that marriage is between just two people, the husband and the wife. Whatever problems they encounter in their union should not be seen by relatives (parents) included as a signal that they need to intervene.

I call it “nose posing” into affairs of the heart. It complicates issues and makes it extremely difficult to settle such issues within the confines of the bedroom. Parent want to take sides, they will be partial to their own whether he/she is the injured party or not. It is in a rare case that we have impartial parents, ready to tell it as it is, believing that both husband and wife have become their own through their union. And even at that, there is a limit to the kind of info you allow them acess to if you want your marriage to last long. Important points to note:

Never let your relatives know who owns what in the house, let it be understood at all times that everything you have is jointly owned by both of you.

Don’t complain about your spouse to any of them, if you do, you are leaving your spouse open to criticisms, either immediately or later in the future.

Always let them know of your love and respect for each other, that way, they will find it difficult to be disrespectful.

Let them understand that you value each others opinion; when you need to consult each other before taking a decision or committing to something they will not read other meanings into it.

Above all, make them understand that their interference will not be appreciated, that way; they will leave you alone to sort out your problems if the need arose.

All these mean that you will truly be in love and LOVE IS A COMMITMENT WITH A BEGINNING AND NO END. So watch it and don’t allow others dictate the pace of your marriage. Relatives have their place in our lives, but not in our marriage!


1 Reaction(s).:

Shinade aka Jackie said...

Hi Bola,
I was so excited to see your card in my drop box yesterday but I was so exhausted by the time I made it here I didn't comment.

Please forgive me but I was literally a walking zombie.

This is great advice as usual and I love the pictures you chose.

How have you been? I took almost the entire summer off and have been incredibly busy since my return.

I hope all is good with you and your family!!