15 November 2007

Who should be responsible for household chores?

From time immemorial, it is generally believe that the bulk of the housework lies on the woman of the house, whether she is strong enough to do so, or in the right frame of mind to do it is not of utmost importance, the bottom line is it’s an obligation she must fulfil. I was privy to an argument between two of my office colleagues where one of the two guys bluntly stated that he married his wife to take care of his home and raise his children, which is the only work he believed a woman should do and not running helter skelter to meet up with office deadlines and so on. Then I asked him what he does in the house to assist the woman, and he simply replied that he washes their cars in the mornings and that is all. So in essence, the woman cooks, do the dirty laundry and ironing, prepare the children for school, drive them to school, drive back home to take care of the mess left behind, prepare lunch for the children, do afternoon school runs, help the kids with their homework, shopping, all for the man to come back from work with his own demands. My next question to the egoistical bagel was when does she usually wake up and sleep, he said she wake by 4am and sleep 11:30/12pm which he said is not bad because she has all day to catch up on her sleep and rest. From what I’ve heard so far and the appearance of the woman from the few times I’ve met with her I thought to myself that it was no wonder the woman always looked exhausted no matter the time of the day. She does not have any spare time for rest, she is always on her toes and the husband does not seem to mind. He looks robust and well fed, because he does absolutely nothing, I’ve heard him several times arranged to have his car washed by the parking lot attendants.
The other guy is a bachelor and he felt that was an abnormal way to treat a woman whom you professed to love and cherish, I agreed with him because the guy turned his wife into a slave in her own house.
I don’t think it is right for a man to leave all the housework for the woman alone coupled with her responsibility as a wife and mother. If the husband cannot assist directly due to a reason or the other, and the children are not old enough to also lend a helping hand, then he should employ a maid for her; take up the gender roles in the household duties to reduce the work overload on the woman.
Men should remember that how they use/treat their wives has a direct effect on the looks/appearance and health of the woman. Even though the husband is the head of the family, he should be ready to relieve the woman of some of her duties once in a while and also be willing to share the household duties equally with the woman and also adapt his lifestyle to being married just as the woman did.

12 Reaction(s).:

Refinedone said...

Answer: everone that lives in the household. Now let me go read the post :)

carlaj22 said...

A man who would use his wife in such a way deserves to be divorced! My husband was a cross-country driver so was not home to help every day. When he was home he pitched in to do whatever needed to be done. And he always took me out for dinner so I didn't have to cook. I always thought he would be sick of eating out, but he wanted me to have an evening off.

SuzanneSays... said...

All your married co-worker needs is one day in his wife's shoes - bet he wouldn't make it all the way to bedtime! Sheesh!

But, before I get on my soapbox about this guy and his attitude, let me tell you I've come to tag you for a meme. I recently joined NaBloPoMo, too, and got immediately tagged myself. I don't mind, because I've met some wonderful bloggers in the process. You can find details at my blog. :)

Bola said...

@Suzannesays - Thanks for this comment,I hated the guy on hearing him say such things about his wife,woman is a graduate too,you can imagine.


@Carlaj22 - thanks also Carla,he deserves to be punished,that's slavery of the highest order.Just trying to prove he is a traditional sort of husband.

Bro. Tee said...

I printed this article. I am taking it home to have a heart to heart discussion with my wife. I wanted a house-help but she doesn't like the idea. So, I had to give in that we do without one for now.
I love my wife and I don't want her feeling like she is a slave in our home.
I am going to ask her to sincerely score me. I pray she won't score me below 50% (cos I spend so much time outside).
Sister B., this is very practical and much needed, thanks for sharing.

Nijawife said...

bola,thats the plight of women in Africa,i guess.I know how it is as am involved but it cant get worse.As mothers,we need to re-orientate our sons and make them understand that house chore is not just for women both both sex.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I think I was married to this man many years ago. We are of course divorced now. Excellent piece. When does this woman get a day off? Never! Have a great day. :)

Kat said...

Amen!
I do most of the work in our home, but my husband helps - and he knows that my job is much harder than his. He does work hard, and he works every day right now, so I don't mind doing most of the work here... but this guy really sounds like a jerk. I can't beleive his wife puts up with it.

Giggles said...

I agree that whoever lives in the house helps take care of it. Those people who have never been a "stay-at-home" parent do not realize how little staying at home there really is. It's a full time job and then some.

Bola said...

Bro Tee,thanks for taking the time to read this article and your comment also.

Nijawife (http://anijawife.blogspot.com),I agree with you,i grew up with 4siblings and 3 of them were boys,but regardless of that fact my mom trained us all to cook and take part in all the household work,and now on their own the boys are very helpful to their partners.I guess it has something to do with upbringing.

Sandee(http://comedyplus.blogspot.com),I don't think there is a day off in the dictionary of that home.The woman does everything at the whim of the husband.very Pathetic!

Bola said...

@Kat - it's good to do the housework,afterall your man go out to make a living for his family and he still assist you whenever he return from work,that's different from not doing anything to other than grow fat around the middle.

@Giggles - staying at home is a full time job on it's own because you get to do all the housework and won't rest until everywhere is sparkling clean,except for a lazy person who sees it as an avenue to idle/laze away.Thanks for your comment.

Muddleman said...

I remember being told something very wise: "A person who is nice to you, but is not nice to the waiter, is not a nice person."

This applies even more so to a person who is not nice to their spouse.