31 March 2008

A Dysfunctional child.

In every home there are needs that are very essential to the daily existence of our children. If some of these needs are not met as at when required then a lot of things could go wrong. There is always the physical, emotional and the spiritual need and when any of these is lacking there tends to be Loss of trust in the parents, bridge in communication and listening, loss of respect for parents, lots of skeletons in the cupboard (keeping of secrets), tendency to ignore inappropriate behaviour, loss of feelings etc.

In a family, where the physical needs of the children like food, clothing, shelter etc are not met either as a result of the parents inability to provide because of unemployment, sickness or because either of the parent has the sole responsibility of raising the children alone (single parenthood), the children suffer unduly and has to look for a means to an end all by themselves. Such children are often seen on the streets begging for alms, involved in underage prostitution, picking pockets, snatching of handbags etc.

Emotional need is much more complex and usually very difficult and more subtle to detect. It is the need for acceptance, affirmation and love from parents or guardian. Most children who feel they do not have the love of their parents, grow up to unstable, unloving, they lack emotions, self esteem, confidence and they tend to be impaired/dysfunctional persons when the grow up. The results of this; the children often have behaviour disorders, they are poor in their academics, they don’t mix or make friends easily, they fight at every given opportunity, and they tend to be loners.

Finally the spiritual need, as earlier discussed in a previous post, the often missing dimension in marriage, so also it is with our children. They must be given the opportunity to know God and serve him, if you are godly, then teach your children to also obey (Eph. 6:1; 1 Tim. 3:4), give them the necessary guidance and direction on how to know God and be disciplined into a mature relationship with him. Remember that parents must teach God’s truth at all times Deut. 4:9; 32:46). Failure to do this can result in untold hardship as a result of loses of direction and focus.

Our children are our greatest assets, our most valuable investments and also the most valuable fruit of the kingdom of God; let us therefore faithfully bring them up so that we can be confident that our efforts from age 0-9months and beyond will not be in vain (Prov. 22:6).

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