29 July 2008

Is childlessness enough reason for break-up?

Readers please assist to give reasonable answers to this topic. A friend asked me yesterday if she should divorce her husband and look for love elsewhere since it seems they are not destined to have children together. This kind of question I don’t usually like to give answers to simply because I don’t want to be quoted. So I simply asked her to go to God in prayer and not be deceived by the circumstances surrounding her presently, as she never can predict God.

She got married seven years back and since there has never been a pregnancy, not even for a day. They have both visited various doctors, who certified them okay, but then nothing seems forth coming and the in-laws are getting restless and also insinuating all sorts of things. The issue came to a climax when she overheard her hubby’s parent telling their son to look for children elsewhere because the wife is a “male pawpaw” that is, a barren woman. This made her decide to also look elsewhere for a solution before she is unceremoniously dumped.

I am of the opinion that only God gives children, they are gifts from him and if he has not decided to bestow that blessing on someone, then, there is nothing anyone can do about it.

Genesis 16:2; so she said to Abram, "The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her." Abram agreed to what Sarai said.

Genesis 29:32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, "It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now."

Genesis 30:1-3
When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children; she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Jacob became angry with her and said, "Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?" Then she said, "Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family."
These two women suffered the consequences of their action simply because they both could not wait for God to do it at his own time.

Please, take time to drop a word of advice.

Shalom!

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4 Reaction(s).:

Channelofhealing said...

This is such a classic Nigerian case . . . what I would tell the lady is for her to keep Praying so that God will disgrace her enemies, look at the Bible all the women who were barren that asked the Lord for a Child. . . the Lord gave them children.

So all she can do is "Pray" to God there is no alternative for a Christian.

Godbless

Clement said...

I have some questions.Is this family christian?I mean to say how is their relationship with God?Is it God who brought them together. If it is, then what God put together, no man should put asunder!!!I know the pressures that childless families go through but I do not think that divorce should be a solution.What ASSURANCE do they have to start thinking that if the opt for another partner, a child will come.It is not in their hands.It is in God's hands.After all, divorce itself is not expected of us as believers.Whoever marries a divorced woman or man commits adultery with her or him.What if they split and end up being childless even in their new "marriages".

Therefore my advice to this couple is that they must NEVER split.They must continue to stick together and enjoy their marriage. They must remember the VOWS that they made on that day when they got married(I promise to be your LAWFULLY wedded wife/husband in PEACE and in TROUBLE).This couple MUST stick together and continue to engage in prayers.We have heard a lot of testimonies of barren women/men being blessed with kids after praying to GOD. After all, this couple is not barren at all.It might just be a simple deliverance issue.

Bola said...

Clement, thanks for responding,they are christians,infact,elders of the church have given them series of advice,but their families are not helping matters at all.The woman seems to be giving in to the pressure from the husband's family.My only prayer is that God intervenes in their situation fast.

Bola said...

Thanks COH,you expressed my sentiments exactly.Thanks so much for the award,May God bless you!