For Men’s Attention:Ways to keep your wife closer:

Treat her like a queen!

Most men are under the impression that women, if treated nicely will get spoilt, grow wings or have an inflated ego. NO! When a woman is treated well and accord all due respect, it brings out the good qualities in her. Remember there is a sublime level where, if you carry a person to, he/she begins to acquire noble qualities and show grace rather than being naughty. It is to this level that husbands must lift their wives. Recall the popular saying; “you scratch my back I scratch your back”. Treat her well and you will receive it in good measure.

Care for her

Fact of the matter is that women love to be cared for. We love to be pampered and treated like a queen, no woman is an exception. And care is one of the ways that any wise man will employ to his wife closer. If you must keep your woman closer, you must work hard at caring for her needs, finding out what makes her happy or cry, cry with, laugh with her according to the season tell more than any word could.

Consult her;

When taking decisions that directly or indirectly affect her, please consult her. She is supposed to be the sounding board on which your plans and moves will be tested before taking decisions. She is your second in command and so should be your no.1 adviser.

Seeking her advise is important as this will make her realise how much you value and believe in her even when you will not be bound by the advise.

Lovemaking:

In this generation, women are beginning to regard the level of lovemaking demanded by their husbands as an index of the love they have for them because the world we live in now, there are intruders and man snatching is rampant, it is possible that a man had already has his fill outside only for him to come home to ignore the wife or see the wife as undesirable. The level of lovemaking demanded by a man can be an indication of the man’s faithfulness to his wife, so it is highly important to have a good bedroom relationship as it can breed a closeness that is noticeable at any level of marriage.

Going out and surprise purchases for her can really show that you care.

Showing that you care.

It is a known fact that the success of a marriage depends on the two people involved; they both need to work together to ensure happiness in the marriage. Can two walk together unless they agree? NO! It is the responsibility of the partners to make each other happy. The usual trend in homes is that the men go out to work in order to support their family while the wife take care of the home in his absence. But these days, most wives assist to complement the effort of their husband by working, even though the household chores is already a full time employment. It is sometimes very tiring to combine career with our duties as wives and mothers. Wives need to be encouraged and appreciated, we need to be cherished, we need our husbands going extra length for us, we need our husband’s support and affection, and most importantly, we need honesty and openness in our relationship with our husband. We also need our husbands to:
Show us love in tangibles ways; like taking us out and giving us treats, arranging holidays just for the two of us.
Share with us their daily experiences, stories, ideas, and encounters outside the home,
Give us happy surprise sometimes, like get us breakfast in bed, flowers, candy, new dress, undies, or a wonderful gift we can cherish.
Make great sacrifices for us – help out with some of the household chores, opt to spend time with us instead of having a guy’s night out.
Touch, hold, caress, kiss and hug very often and not wait for invitation to do so.
Take delight in our body and share sexual and intimate moments with us.
As wives, we are also expected to:
Be as attractive as possible for them
Be a loving and non judgmental friend
Admire their efforts and abilities
Ensure they are sexually fulfilled (this is highly important)
Show them we love and care for them.
Pet them more than we do our children. (Remember they are our first babies)
Offer them intelligent and sound advice when necessary.
Always be ready to escort them on recreational activities.
Support their dreams and assist to actualize them.
Offer both domestic and moral support.
Be proud of their achievements no matter how small.
In summary, both parties should strive to give out what the other needs; there should always be oneness.

Joint Bank Account.

Is it really good for a couple to have/keep a joint bank account?

Can you as a woman or man agree to such arrangement?

On what grounds can a couple opened a joint bank account and to what purpose?

I could not answer any of the above questions because I have never and will never keep a joint account. I don’t think it is necessary and it is not a way to demonstrate how much I love my husband/trust him, NO. I love my husband, I also trust him but the issue of joint bank account has never arisen. Of course I have access to his ATM cards and vice versa, we do sign blank checks for each other to use and so on, I don’t think we require any more to show that we love and trust each other.

A friend of mine at the husband’s bidding opened a joint account with the husband. Both of them had to deposit half of their salaries into the account for the upkeep of the home and children. They both have good jobs and are highly paid, after a while, huge sums of money-started disappearing from the account without explanation and the wife had to cater to household needs with the other half of her salary. She later found out that the man is fully into adultery and all other terrible vices you could think of. Of course my friend had to withdraw from the arrangement and that made the man furious, so much so that now, it is only God that could calm the situation.

Of course I don’t know the kind of advice I’d give my friend, but it is bad to know that your husband is using your hard earned cash to buy all sorts of expensive gifts and even car for another woman outside, while the woman had to manage on her own to pay the bills including children’s school fees which was supposed to be their joint responsibility.

Is it really worth it?

Knowing your children

The authority of parents, especially of the father, over children is very great, as was also the reverence enjoined by the law to be paid to parents. Exercising that authority over our children to curb their excesses may be necessary especially when you know the kind of children you have. Children are a great gift from God, but somewhere along the line we fail in our duties as parent and this may have resulted in our having good children or otherwise. The word of God says train up your child in the way he will go and when he grows he will not depart from it. Easier said than done, but can be achieved only by the mercy and grace of God. Some children don’t want to be good regardless of how hard you tried as a parent.

They;

Don’t hearken to their parent;

Despise their parents;

Curse their parents for bringing them to the world;

Bring reproach on their parents;

Do not know God;

Are proud;

Lack understanding of good

Are calamities to their parents and the whole family?

Despised their elders;

Are griefs to their parent and continuously make them unhappy;

Mock their parents.

Good children do the opposite of all these, they are a joy to have and to behold.

Who are your children?

Do you know who they are?

Can you vouch for their character?

Do you understand your children?

Please answer these questions and rate how well you know your children.

Stress In The Home.

Stress is a physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension on a person. It is often identified as a negative reaction; but this is not necessarily the case, because sometimes stress can be of positive benefit to us, making it possible for us to be more focused on what we do and also enhancing our performance at home and at our respective places of work. A lot of people often say they are stressed when they become distressed, emotional or suffer from stress related symptoms. It is often a clue that a person is unable to cope with the demands placed on them.

From experience symptoms are evident to the individual well before the stage of distress but rather than be forthcoming they often deny those feelings in the hope that it will go away. Sometimes it does, especially after taking time off the particular activity or situation that causes the stress. For example, a housewife that is always on her toes taking care of the children and the home, started feeling physically stressed, and the husband decided to help her take care of some of the chores like bath the children in the morning, feed them, get their things together for school and drop them off at school later to pick them up in the afternoon has taken some load off the woman. The woman will feel better and able to cope with the other things she has to handle unlike when she has to do it all alone.

If the feeling of distress continue, worsen or return, it will then be necessary to seek medical help in order to avoid a complete breakdown.

There are different causes of stress in a family; some of them are listed here;

Problems with family income, resulting in inability to feed the children; pay their school fees; settle accumulated bills etc

Inability to have children;

Problems with relatives of either the husband or the wife;

Extra marital affairs

Health issues.

Watch out for COPING WITH STRESSES IN THE HOME.

Good people

The more I get to know people, the more I love my dog. (Frederick the Great), this sentiment is echoed by many of us daily as we encounter some kind of people with lifestyle and character far different from ours. Some People are tagged good while others are seen as bad and not worthy of being called friends.

Good people have good intentions, when they say they will do something, they follow through and take whatever actions are necessary to get it done. They don't feel that the world owes them anything; neither do they seek for attention, special recognition or praise, they are simply themselves.

So, Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can - John Wesley

Some of life's greatest blessings come through the good people with whom we are privileged to be living.

-- Ralph Marston

Husband and wife, the crucial link in marriage.

A husband and his wife are the bedrock of a family. When their union is broken the family fall apart, and that is why it is important for the husband and wife to hold each other well and no wonder the bible has so much to say about how husbands and wives should treat each other.

HUSBANDS

It advised the husbands to love and treat their wives as their own bodies because he who loves his wife loves himself for there is no man that hate his own flesh but feed and cherish it. A husband who loves his wife, as his own body is not brutal or hateful to her. He does not abuse her verbally or strike her physically nor abuse her emotionally. He is always ready to accord her due respect, same esteem and consideration he shows himself. When he does this, the wife feels loved and secures in her marriage and he in turn shows his children how a woman should be treated.

WIVES

Wives are also advised to have deep respect for their husbands because a woman who has deep respect for her husband does not strip him of his dignity by constantly criticizing him or belittling him. And because she has so much respect for him, he feels trusted, accepted and appreciated.

A father and mother should try to have a loving, healthy and strong relationship between them in order to breed security in their children. A good communication practice and an effective method of reconciling differences should be adopted.

Also adopt the policy of: NOBODY GOES TO BED ANGRY AT ANOTHER.