31 August 2007

Marital discord

There are a great many reasons why there are disagreements in a lot of marriages today. Imagine a couple that started out well as husband and wife, the day of their wedding it was like they could never have enough of each other, but what happens after few months of marriage? Grumblings here and there, complaints about almost everything. All of a sudden the once loving couple then turned into two strangers putting up with each others presence, right in their own home. I remembered the days at school, when we all try unsuccessfully to put up with roommates, some trials yield good fruits as we later learn to accommodate each other’s likes and dislikes. Some were not so lucky as some of the roommates cannot stand being near each other for any reason. We all had no choice, the school authority made all the arrangements and except you had alternative, you have to bear the living conditions of the hostel you were allocated.
Marriage is not to be endured, but to be enjoyed. There are lots of reasons why there could be discord in a marriage, some are listed here and these are from sampled opinions of friends and relatives:

Lack of true love:
Many people confuse infatuation with
love; feelings that were generated from how a person looks, the way the person talk, dresses, etc were not always good grounds for marriage. There has to be a deeper feeling that goes way beyond physical appearance. Such people always failed to know that the love they feel for each is not enough to warrant marriage, they only realise it after staying together as married couple. These are mostly common in celebrity marriages.

Lots of people felt that without material possessions life would not be worthwhile. They value themselves by what and how much material goods they possess. Such attitude could end a marriage especially if the other partner is not so materialistic in nature. You must be in vogue, on top of fashion, forgetting that there are only two ways to get enough and you can only choose one, either to accumulate more and more or to desire less.

When children are not forthcoming in a marriage, some couple tends to feel that they are not right for each other, which in all the cases is not true. When it comes to children, it is only God that gives them at his appointed time. They are his heritage and nobody can hurry God, he makes all things beautiful in his time. I know a couple that had to divorce after years of marriage because of childlessness. This is not supposed to be so. Procreation is one of the many
reasons for marriage, and not the reason. We should take care so that unnecessary things will not destroy our happiness. Let’s be patient while waiting on God.

Some people are not matured enough to marry. Issues may arise in marriage that does not require outside involvement or interference, but because of immaturity every little problem in the home is discuss with all and sundry, resulting in diverse views and opinions being expressed by advisers. Some are emotional displays, like the story of an older man, who got married to a girl about twenty years his junior, whenever the man get home from work, he has his priority in the order of bath first, listen to news then food. But the wife thought otherwise, she must have believe that if the man eats immediately after his bath, it then means that her cooking is highly valued and her efforts appreciated. She also cannot take correction, like honey please try to reduce the salt next time, she will start wailing and it will only take a lot of pacifying to stop her.

Unfaithfulness in marriage can be either ways, husband cheating on the wife or vice versa. This mostly is not as a result of either party failing in anyway, but because of an underlying desire to cheat. Read more on marriage and infidelity.

List is endless, will have to think up more and continue on this next time.

Have a wonderful marriage.

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